I kept asking myself lately, are u ready to take a one step further in life? hmm, then i answer it to myself, it depends. love is a subjective. i dunno, for me love can give various definition with different point of view from each and everyone in this psychotic world. sometimes i wonder, am i ready to accept this new love of my so-called-life? how bout the past? people say, past is past la babe, jgn la ingat lagi..no point. but, is it true past is past? its like back then when we learned history in the secondary and the teacher always saying this "jgn lupa sejarah kita", its like we are what we were before. then, why must we delete all the history yg dah bertahun2 we've been through? its unfair. to myself,to my future,and to my past. life is not complicated.its only we who tangle it up. sometimes, i think love is just a waste. you met somebody,you fell in love,you had fight,you broke up,and its all gone.just like that. how many times you want to fall in love before you settle down for good? why cant we just settle it all once and for all. its easy saying than doing it aite. and how do you know your man is the right man for you? there goes another issue. :)
At this age of 25 ( i hate the number), im getting bored of this love sick thing.losing someone i've been with for almost 5years, makes me tired to let myself swim in this pond called love again. its neither a frustration nor regrets. ive made my decision to let him go, and i know i hve to move on this time. to catch up what i missed before. give time for myself and trying to get back to my own track. and leave this all lovey dovey thingy. but, being human i cant escape that easy. as the ex keep knocking on my door, i met someone new. but i still arguing with my twin evil side of me who keep saying that, why must u trust another hunk when they share the same bloody epidemic. yup, its about trust. i find myself hard to trust another being called man. maybe it just a temporary after-break-up syndrom,but i dunno..Today i suppose to send my kain baju kurung to the tailor for my friend's wedding. my first experience-to-be bridesmaid.im a bridesmaid ppl! hmm, another friend who's going to get married, and one by one is following the track..and im going to be alone in this sarcastic room called "single only".and die alone..with my old fat cat called cimut..eating my flesh in the kitchen until my neighbor found my body after 2 weeks.. huaa.. can it be like that?
Today, i say to myself, give this new guy a chance and give urself a chance to be loved and loved.. its not a crime after all.let the past, stay in the past.take a peek at the past once in a while as a guide in the future.but do not let the past to keep urself from moving.life must goes on. "tak cuba tak tahu kan?"-a friend once said. Give love another chance.Don't punish it just because you failed before.That's why i decided to look at it beyond what love is, and strive for what best for me.and yes, love is an emotional black mail which we are willing to be blackmailed by it.as pierre andre might said "jgn pandang belakang", i say life is a lesson, you'll learn it when you through..
until then peeps..
